illusivemeteor

Startling news was recently reported from a nearly toothless couple from Liverpool.  “Our baby has bulimia,” they declare. 

 ”We just thought it was normal baby stuff, ya know?” sobbed husband Richard.  “I told my wife every time that kid blew up.  I did.”

Doctors contend that they couple may have been confused.  They have a pet rat named Acorn.  Doctors have seen Acorn come through their offices before.  “He’s been known to eat a mince meat pie or two and then send it back to us more minced than it was when we started,” joked lead Doctor Wentzel.  “Oh, that Acorn is one unique rat!”

Baby Briana’s father, Richard (aka Farmer Dick), was not amused by the good doctor.  “What happened to my baby?  This ain’t normal!!”

“Your baby got bulimia,” Dr. Wentzel stated in a way that only Farmer Dick would understand.  “We put a camera on her last night here in the hospital.  She’s 6 months old and we watched her crawl down to the cafeteria and eat an entire bag of chips, 6 chocolate bars, and 2 broasted chickens.  I ain’t never seen nothing like it.”

Babies thowing up has been commonplace in western culture.  “It’s like telling Mexico that it is not normal to eat beans,” one alarmed expert noted.  Scientists are miffed by this new development because it will inevitably delay their work on long lasting and tasting moon gum.  At the same time, they find it to be more curious than if carrot juice may help one live another hour longer in their life.

More news to come on this story that has rocked parents all over the globe.  Hospitals encourage all parents to bring their infants into emergency care if they seen vomiting patterns.  These hospitals note, however, that they will just tell parents that their baby has bulimia and there is nothing they can do.

Oh, the humanity.

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