illusivemeteor

I’m not sure when it started or how it can be stopped but this newscaster is at a loss.  I’ve been purpled with ideas from our readers.  I appreciate it.  I do.  I am only one man.

Really, I see it like you do each day.  Those damned Californians trying to illegally enter the United States.  It’s just not fair.  Their boobs are bigger and their wallets shimmer.  They are tan and blonde.  They are smart and know a lot of computer stuff.

I admire the Soviets for trying to help us out.  Their armies torched their trees and bombed their underbelly to create earth splitting terror.  Good job.  The Rubles are in the mail.

Of course I mean that sarcastically, like I had to tell you (as I watch another perfect body defect into Arizona - this one has freckles).  Cucumber wraps have already made their way to Vegas.  What’s next…surfing in Iowa?

Of all of the suggestions that were sent in, I bow most deeply to Jim in Mobile.  “We’ve got some experience with varmits.  You gotta flush ‘em out and then net ‘em.  You put a net or some kinda trap out where they be coming out, you got yourself dinner.  It may not glamorfied or nothing but toenails is good for arrows.  You can get other stuff too but you need a net.  Or a trap.”

Oh, the humanity.

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